#I personally wouldn't reduce my interest to the concept to that but I mean. Genuinely. Not everything is interesting for moralistic reasons

[gotta-bail-my-quails]

okay I have Thoughts about this which I need to let out. So first of all, it's kinda accepted that children are genuinely, innately good. There have been studies that show children prefer "nice" puppets over "mean" ones. To take a religious spin on it, children aren't even considered able to sin in some religions because they don't have a concept of good and evil, much in the same way Adam and Eve were only ashamed of their nakedness once they were aware of it.

That leads into the second part of that first quote which is actually quite interesting because I do agree on the part of "conscious" good. Maybe not for the same reasons as others though. Having intrusive thoughts (which get very disturbing and violent) means I think I'm evil and an awful person and all that jazz but at the end of the day I choose to be a good, law abiding citizen. It is extremely reassuring to know you could be awful inside, your first thoughts on someone could be absolutely reprehensible but what matters is you fighting that impulse. That being said, we must also bring into question whether unconscious good is actually good--if a child does good simply because it has no concept of what is and isn't, is it actually genuine? In general, I think what should be focused on is the deliberation behind an action. And that in turn leads me to the third quote. What exactly is evil? I know we are probably generalizing and reducing "evil" to mean straight sadism but we cannot ignore how much nuance goes into "bad" actions have nuanced and complex reasons behind them and that even good and evil themselves are rather subjective terms. Even the most cliched and simple "i was forced to do x evil thing or die" has some amount of morally complicated depth to it (and, again, religion wise for at least Christians, that wouldn't necessarily count as a sin!). I don't want to assume but maybe we are trying to downplay the many facets of "evil" from a biased desire to believe in "good". However, if we do that we risk shoving anyone "evil" into simplified boxes and that's no way to start a conversation to move forward.

I myself might be biased because I, outside of the intrusive thoughts thing, am genuinely just a lover of whump and pain, but I don't like it because I just want to see people screaming and crying. I have ALWAYS hated that thing some people say about the opposite of love being apathy and not hate, because of whatever reasons. NO! Apathy (by definition) is the opposite of emotion itself, including love and hate and what have you. And you hate because you love, and you hurt because you want to be happy. They are two sides of the same coin (or, for sake of my own consistency, a many sided die of emotions) and you cannot just split the beautiful spectrum of human emotions in twain like that! To me, to hurt is to have had something to love. I'd legitimately get bored if my life was all sunshine and rainbows, so to call only evil banal and boring means I have to assume you live in some world where there's only that (which is kinda what the quote implies, but again, you kinda have to have happy to define a sad so...)

Also where's that quote that says all happy families are happy in the same ways, while unhappy families are all uniquely unhappy, because I believe it's quite relevant here.

cruelty is so easy. youre not special for choosing it

[two-sides-samecoin]

i just spent however long reading all of your st posts and you're so right all the time! i adore steve and robin (and vickie). steve is my guy, my bitchy baby girl, my badass loser. robin is my girl, my awkward polyglot, my annoyed loser. stobins dynamic is top notch, they are soulmates, they're drift compatible, they want to combine into one person. and i'm so tired of people acting like anyone else can have this dynamic. i've seen too many posts (which any in the first place but it's been at least 6) in which people put eddie and nancy into the bathroom scene and it makes me want to pull my hair out. and there's so many things i want to put into this post ab how the fandom and st canon treats steve (overall, within his relationship w everyone, how they treat the concept of popularity (bc people like steve! he's a person people enjoy being around! he wouldn't be popular otherwise.), his intelligence (he's framed as stupid but his intelligence hasn't changed and he is, in fact, smart! and he's so emotionally intelligent and aware of everything) and how people say they love him and robin and stobin but don't actually like or understand any of them, etc.) and how vickie is amazing and vibes so well w robin and that she understands both robin and steve bc she has some similarities both personality wise and w her interests, and how people reduce robin to nancys (fanon) love interest or to bitchy autistic lesbian. (extrapolating on any of that would be like 6 asks and you've talked ab a lot of it already). and now i've decided that steves never done anything wrong bc he was genuinely in the right 98% of the time in s1, but people are acting stupid, so now he was always right. and honestly, i consider his s3 actions of letting erica and dustin go w them ooc bc in s2, he absolutely would've never, and nothing that happened between then and now would've changed his feelings on that. maybe i'm wrong on that, but it feels ooc to me. and he hasn't done anything wrong in any other season. also, i loved your post ab how steve became the person he is bc of trauma, how he doesn't freak out bc he knows he can't, he's the one stepping up to protect everyone and if he falters, he dies and everyone else is gonna be in more danger. any posts ab any of this make me go feral, so. anyways, sorry for ranting in your asks, i just kinda lost it a bit as soon as i started typing lol ✨️

thank you so much for taking the time to read all of them that’s so sweet 🥹

also this is long so going to put it under read more! :)

aww i’m so happy that you love these characters! they really are so wonderful and i love how you’ve described steve and robin <3 legit stobin means so much to me and you’re right i’m so tired of people acting like any other dynamic can have their friendship. ahh i hate when people put eddie or nancy in the stobin scene. or like even mention them because no no no you’re totally forgetting the purpose of this scene. which is funny because people have complained about steve stan’s not being respectful of this scene but like we high key are. but people want to make this scene about one of their ships when the whole point is about robin deciding to come out to steve. it has nothing to do with who her crush is on it’s about her own sexuality. and i’m sure you’ve seen me say this lol but it’s funny how the fandom wants queer representation meanwhile they completely bulldoze and ignore the wants/needs of queer characters. just to fulfill a ship they want.

everything you said about steve! i’ve even seen people legit put stars in steve’s name like this: st*ve which i guess do what you want but why can’t you even type a character’s name? i don’t want to keep repeating what you say so yes agree everything you said about steve’s treatment in fandom! i also 100% about vickie! ohh i need to talk about what you said about season 1 steve! people love to act like he was a devil or something but my dude just reacted to the fact that someone took pictures of him and his friends and girlfriend without his consent! then reacted to the fact that he believes his girlfriend cheated on him with the dude that took pictures of them when being a creep. like i would not act in a good way either. also like steve’s actions are on the same level as some of the other main character’s actions yet stan’s of their characters don’t have to say 24/7 the fact that their fav is an asshole.

about letting dustin and erica do that in season 3: i think it may be slightly ooc but also he’s faced against a kid who did go his own demands in a dire situation. i think after that he would realize that he can’t stop dustin from doing this so i think it may be easier to go along with it and steve can try to keep dustin and all of them safe. also we don’t know what happened between season 2 and 3 so i wonder if steve and dustin got caught up in shenanigans before

ahhh i’m so happy that you love that post <3 and yes yes exactly what you said about steve there. don’t say sorry because i love this rant! i love when people rant as i do it a lot lol and i love hearing people doing it. thank you so much for this!! :)

[morsobaby]

I've been having some. Interesting feelings about attraction and gender identity lately. I honestly think it's not anything that weird but I feel embarrassed talking about it, some internalized phobias or something probably.. It's a messy subject for me so I like to dumb things down whenever someone asks, and also for the sake of trying to make some sense of myself.

I say genderfluid but in detail that means sometimes I feel a different gender depending on the company I'm in, sometimes I feel a strong urge to be some gender despite not "feeling" like I am that gender, sometimes I legitimately don't know if I'm just really in denial about being SOMEthing that I just don't know?? I feel isolated and dysphoric when people talk about binary genders and reduce people down to Men and Women. I don't fully connect w the nonbinary Culture either, the popular image of nonbinary being "Flat chested androgynous quirky person who goes by they/them pronouns" really bothers me. It took me so long to figure myself out bc I didn't vibe with what the most common portrayal of nonbinary people is like. I'll stop before I spiral into being dysphoric or anything

Having a crush on not one but two trans men, but wait, is it romantic or platonic? Or do I just wanna be physically intimate bc I'm touch starved? And then there's amab and generally masculine bodies, for cis men I feel a sort of gender envy and for anyone amab or masc aligned who doesn't identify as a man. It's like. Woah, I Feel A Feeling for you. Romantic? Sexual? Sensual? Envy? Idk but it sure is a Feeling. Ykno? I can aesthetically find men attractive obviously, I don't need to wanna date them to think that at all. Men are hot that is a fact. But then even all that aside there's my aromanticism. Demiromanticism to be specific. Or grey. Well, both. Probably. So it's like okay now is this platonic or sensual or or or... And it goes on. It's hard. I need so much time. Help.

And then oh boy. Attraction. Can of worms I could almost say. So basically I suffered comphet for years until my ex best friend (boy) confessed to me and it finally clicked, no, it's not that he's undesirable as a person, but I literally cannot romance with boys. And then that was that for a long time. Great. Internalized homophobia aside it was cool. Then I had a crisis bc I fell for an amab person who actually turned out to be a trans woman and I'm like Woah okay this is a. Feeling. Confirms my lesbianism yes? No? I still can't bring myself to say I'd genuinely date and have a romantic connection with a man, I wouldn't, but here and now I have strange uh.. Stumbles I guess? Things that throw me for a loop.

And don't get me started on gender fuckery like genderqueer people in any capacity, I am very attracted to them in Some Way. What way depends on the person bc obviously it's a wide category. But man, when they have a spicy gender. I am looking respectfully. When they're gnc or mess around w expression, ohhhhh boy. Oh man. Xenogender? Otherkin? Ohhyes I would date an aesthetic concept or a supernatural creature in human form. Ohh wow. What society at large deems too weird and nonsensical is so so close to my heart. Owns my heart. Completely gender conforming binary cishet people perplex me so much. How can you live like this. Why. You're cis, the world caters to you, you're attracted to what is considered the correct gender, aka the opposite and that comes with a slew of categories and a specific box to fall into. And that box was made for and by you. Jesus. Fuck off

I feel so alienated. It's so weird and uncomfortable hearing people say some shit about how binary genders and sexes work 100% of the time and this is the correct opinion and logical and science blah blah. Ew. Please stop talking. Is this how you perceive people? God. Is this how people perceive me? Eugh. Genuinely wish the world was more openly normal about gender fuckery, bc around where I live, people can't even be normal about a person wearing a skirt. Regardless of what gender they're perceived as (but God forbid they're perceived as a Man bc mEN can't WEar SKIrts Its UNNNAtural)

Sighs. My brain feels so jumbled. Sometimes I genuinely forget or just, feel so blindsided by the fact that binary cishets exist. Like they love to say "Oh well you can't force me to be gay or trans, it's just not me, that's just not fair" but never have the same energy for actually trans and gay people. Fucking ridiculous

[wingletblackbird]

I appreciate your nuanced and respectful anti-abortion post, and I want to raise a question that you didn't address. How do you regard medication abortions, which account for about 30% of abortions and can be performed extremely early? Your argument about fetal life wouldn't seem to apply as well at three or four weeks gestation. I'm not trying to pick a fight, just genuinely curious.

Don’t worry I don’t think you’re trying to pick a fight. I can dialogue with anyone on any subject really, so long as we’re both willing to listen and be respectful, even be willing to change our minds if we are exposed to something we hadn’t considered. I actually, generally, quite enjoy a good discussion. ;) I also am a firm believer that as long as you’re sincere, there is no such things as a bad question. I appreciate the ask, and I’m glad you felt my original post was respectful. I was worried about setting the wrong tone.

(On that note, before I get into this, I really want to make sure I make it clear I don’t think women who have abortions are any better or worse than anybody else. I don’t think most people who are pro-choice are bad people either–No more than the rest of us anyway. 1 in 4 people or so in the States, iirc, will have an abortion. It’s ludicrous to suppose they are all horrible people, or that their supporters are. I cannot know what women feel like going into those clinics, but I am given to understand that helpless, panicked, and desperate are common emotions, and if you are not given the proper support, or information, it is hard to make good decisions like that. Beyond even that, people make mistakes. I am not here to judge them, and if any woman is struggling post-abortion, I would say there is forgiveness, and redemption, and support out there for you.) 

You’re right; I barely touched on the issue of medication abortions. I felt the post was already longer than most people would care for anyway. Before I get into why I oppose those too, I should stress first that by the time most people know they’re pregnant there will already be a heartbeat, and likely discernible brain waves. Ergo, I think it would be rare that it wouldn’t be blindingly obvious you were dealing with a young child, even without the further evidence I am about to offer that life begins at feritilistaion. To offer a personal example, when my parents were trying to conceive my brother and I, my mom was very in tune with her natural cycles. She always knew when she was ovulating from the left side because she could feel a twinge in her lower  back, so she and my dad were able to conceive by brother and I on just the one attempt. Likewise, within a couple weeks after my conception, my mom knew she was pregnant even when it was too early for it to even be detectable by a pregnancy test, so she went to the hospital and asked for a blood test which confirmed she was pregnant. Then she and my dad went to get an ultrasound, and discovered my heart was already beating. That was when my dad went from pro-choice to pro-life, because he realised even at such an early stage, before it could easily be detected, I was alive!

But, of course, what if you have unprotected sex, or for whatever reason you have cause to believe that you could be pregnant really, really early? You’ve pretty much asked for an abortion from the first moment you could possible be considered pregnant. Even then I would say that this is wrong. The child is still a legitimate human being. There is overwhelming scientific consensus on this: Life begins at conception. 

First of all, we know that from the moment of conception the individual is alive. They have all the characteristics of a living entity. Cells are the smallest form of life. That is one of the basics of cell theory and biology. Moreover, once fertilization occurs they are the offspring of two humans, and they are humans genetically. Perhaps most importantly they are human organisms. They are not merely masses of tissue, or clumps of cells, because body cells do not have the capacity to grow, and change, and develop the way that an organism does. This is why sperm cells, egg cells, muscle tissue etc. do not have rights, while the human organism does. The zygote, blastocyst, embryo, fetus, infant, toddler, child, pre-teen, teenager, and adult are all humans in different stages of development, and each is as valid as the other. Furthermore, it is expected in our society to protect the most vulnerable of us such as children. To not do so is considered terrible, even monstrous, except when it comes to those who are developing in-utero. This makes no sense to me. Life begins at fertilisation, and if allowed to grow over the course of a couple decades, results into a fully mature adult of our species. This is the scientific evidence. To terminate that development is to kill the youngest of our kind, to deny them to right to continue to grow and learn and change. You would think every stage of human life from the zygote to the senior citizen would be equally as valuable. However, in the interests of profit and convenience, they are not. (Frankly, this applies to many seniors who are mistreated as well, and aren’t granted the respect and dignity they deserve.)

If you look at embryology textbooks you’ll see quotes like this:

Although human life is a continuous process, fertilisation is a critical landmark, because, under ordinary circumstances a new, genetically distinct human organism, is thereby formed. –Human Embryology and Teratology

Human life begins at fertilization.—The Developing Human 

Development begins with fertilisation—Langman’s Medical Embryology

Even amongst the pro-choice side we get:

There is no doubt that from the first moments of its existence, an embryo conceived from human sperm and eggs is a human being.—Peter Singer, Practical Ethics

Hence, the moment you terminate a pregnancy, whatever the stage, you deny a life the right to exist. You will never get it back. You will never know what that child could have been. 

Other issues that have to be considered with the understanding that life begins at conception is the issue of hormonal birth control, (since I’m on the subject and don’t really get into it in the first post...). I recently read an outraged News article talking about how some politician said that the Pill caused abortion. The man in question was called a religious nut, ignorant, and uninformed, but I rather thought the journalist was. Few people seem to realise that the Pill does not always stop ovulation, and hence, fertilization. While it makes it very difficult for fertilization to occur, it can still occur. If that happens, the Pill will usually result in a lost life, because the Pill also prevents implantation of the fertilised egg by altering the endometrium. This is why many claim that the Pill has the potential to be abortifacient. If you believe that life starts at conception, as I do, hormonal contraception is out. The morning after pill is really just a higher dosage of the regular pill anyway, so really this shouldn’t be surprising. 

Taking the next leap from the understanding that fertilization is the earliest stage of human development is the nature of IVF. To promote greater levels of success, multiple embryos are nurtured. They are screened for “undesirable” qualities whether it be for disabilities, or gender. (I’ve already talked about why that’s awful in my original post.) After successful implantation, the other embryos, the siblings of the lucky implanted ones, are terminated or frozen. Moreover, if the pregnancy results in multiples, because all embryos implant, there is often an abortion to reduce the pregnancy to something safer. Some mothers refuse to do this and you get “Octomom.” I respect them for not terminating their children, but it definitely made for some very high-risk pregnancies. The fact is if you are going to say that you believe something, you cannot pick and choose what it applies to. The evidence points to life begins at conception which means artificial methods of conception need to be looked at as well. I touched on this in my viability argument and I’ll just post that again here:

What about embryo adoption though? Did you know that that is possible? That that is even being done? It has already happened that parents who use IVF, and have no further need for the other embryos they have frozen allow other couples who cannot conceive naturally to adopt them. It has been called the earliest form of adoption. Well, how does this fit into the viability idea? If you can take an embryo and implant it into someone else’s womb? What if you can develop artificial wombs? What if you can remove a fetus in the first trimester and still keep it alive? The whole viability argument makes me feel a bit uncomfortable to be honest, because it is so inherently subjective.

As a side note, I wonder how those embryos who were adopted feel when they grow up. They know that they weren’t the lucky embryo chosen by their biological parents. They were the one frozen, unwanted, and then lucky enough to be granted a chance to truly live when they were given up for adoption. How do they feel knowing they have a biological sibling living with a different set of parents? That maybe they have more still frozen? When an infant is given up for adoption, it is usually a loving decision based upon the mother’s, and possibly even the father’s, recognition that they cannot care for the child. Frozen embryos though…they’re just children, or potential children if you don’t recognise them as being alive, stuck in a freezer. Their parents just have no need for them.

Since I’m on the subject I’ll just go all out and talk about that last point too: The family. 

I remember reading an article years and years ago about how in a family one child was given away, and one was allowed to stay. It was years ago, so I remember few of the details, but I do remember the parent was confused that the child who stayed kept acting out. Surely since she was the one who was kept, she would have felt more safe? In truth though, the child felt worse because she never felt “safe” in a family where people left. She learned that being loved seemed to be conditional. She wanted to know what the limits were for her. When would she be sent away? 

I was conceived right after my mother miscarried my elder brother. He was miscarried so late, he was almost born stillborn, but if he had been born, I would never have been conceived. It’s a crazy thought to me, because I was almost miscarried too. (My mom really struggled to carry a pregnancy to term.) I think sometimes about how it could have been James that was born, and me that was lost. As a consequence, I view my life as even more of a miracle then it already is. My brother died and I was able to live. It’s a humbling thought, and I can’t take it lightly. James is a part of my life, and while my family and I don’t speak of him often, when we do it is with love and grief and respect. My mother even cried once saying she could never have chosen between us, and she wishes she could have raised us both. I often find I want to live a good life, for his sake, as well as my own, and my family’s, and others. James is as important to me. I don’t want to waste the gift I was granted. I wonder though how it would feel if James had been aborted instead. There are, of course, few studies done on the siblings of aborted children, but what I have found indicates grief, anger, and survivor’s guilt–especially those who were once part of multiples that were “selectively reduced”. There have even been developed support groups for the siblings of aborted children who are struggling with it. Abortion rocks the entire family.

One woman who works at a Pregnancy Counselling Centre stated:

“Abortion teaches children that they have worth because they were conceived in the right conditions and at the right time; that they have value because their parents want them. Up to 50% of all American children have lost a brother or a sister to abortion, making it much more likely that they live with a performance view of love: I was born because I was wanted therefore I better perform so they will continue to love me.”

I imagine this is particularly understandable for those who were kept because they were a girl or a boy, and the parents wanted a girl or a boy rather than the opposite sex. Do you only love me because I’m the right gender? 

The above woman also said:

“I think one of the most difficult things for me to face is a woman who is attempting to justify an abortion for the sake of her other children. I always want to tell them…the best thing for her little ones is to have a brother or a sister. In fact, explaining to sons and daughters a few years in the future as to why they aborted their sibling will probably be the most difficult thing they will ever do[.]”

One sibling described how her mother felt unequal to raising a fourth child so aborted the baby. She was left wondering if she’d been that fourth child, would she have been aborted? It’s an uncomfortable question. Love is unconditional, and that should never be in question, and neither should someone’s right to live. These concepts go hand in hand. The value of a life does not rest on it’s convenience, gender, or health.  

This is the heart of the pro-life movement. It is about the inherent dignity of all human life from conception to natural death. It means to be so respectful of the dignity of the human person, you could not fathom supporting anything that would harm them. It means such a fundamental respect for human life that you do not terminate it, rather you do everything you can to support it. It means a respect for life so deep that you do not take the risks of having sex if you aren’t willing to carry a pregnancy, however unlikely it is to occur, to term. It means looking at children as blessing not burdens. It means loving the people you have in your life, young, old, or middle-aged whatever their physical or mental state. It means asking yourself the difficult question: Are people an inconvenience to you? It means pushing for better maternity leave, paternity leave, social services, health care, foster care, adoption services, palliative care, and so on and so forth. More than that, it means being willing to pitch-in and help out yourself. It’s not just about what happens in the abortion clinic. To truly believe in life and love means making a commitment. It will not always be easy, but it is worth it. Abortion may be the “easy” option, but it is not the best one. It shouldn’t even be option at all, and it is devastating in basically every way. 

[typinggently]

No like, protect yourself/your main blog for real, these people are crazy... lie to them or even just ignore the anon asks, you don't owe them the truth or even a response... Your tags are fascinating to me though 🔍👀 bc it really shows how much the meaning of the word "shipping" has changed... It really has come to be used as something tied to one's identity/media expectations? I feel old reading this tbh hahshshjd

@elwing - I'll be real, I have NO idea what shipping means these days, this is mostly my own interpretation. Because, really, to me, it would explain why people ae so nasty about it. I guess they just assume that 'I like to think about these characters in a relationship of some kind' = 'I want them to be in a relationship, I want them to represent my sexual identity, I view their relationship as a blueprint for my own relationship and relationships in general'

Which is so one-dimensional and so boring, I can hardly stand it. But it explains why people roar and spit when it comes to stuff like wincest. "Man learns to love himself through the love A Literal Angel has for him, which heals and comforts him" might be great in any of those three roles, and "Brothers depend on each other to the point of being in a sexual relationship" is shockingly horrid when forced in these categories. But I highly doubt we are saying that? The uses of those two ships are just completely different.

I've been thinking about this a lot when I tried to answer that ask. Like, yes, I enjoy wincest, but there are multiple ways to enjoy a fictional relationship. And I think that's the issue - the roarers and spitters don't understand that their way of interacting with a certain fictional relationship might not be the only way people interact with fictional relationships. Maybe I don't think a relationship has to be pride flag parade healing self insert comfort character elements to be enjoyable. Maybe I want to see something fucked up. Maybe I just think it looks hot.

........i still think about this ask i got on main on the daily.....